Current Events Watch

(Preface: Ford advertisers say, “Bold moves, they happen every day.” Well, that certainly seems to be true when it comes to my posts. In looking back over my previous rantings, I seem to be bold-happy. I use the bold font way too much. So I’m not bolding anything today. Not a single link, not a single sentence. So here we go … )

I’ll admit I’m a big (okay, huge) fan of the White Castle cheeseburgers. Since all of the castles in my neck of the woods have raised their respective drawbridges, though, I’ve had to resort to buying the $3.99 box of frozen sliders at the local Price Chopper. Not quite the same, but you take what you can get. I totally understand Harold and Kumar’s obsession. Blatant movie plug, there, but I thought the movie, although juvenile, was funny, and smart at the same time. And, of course, I respected that they loved the slider enough to persevere through that “what else could possibly go wrong?” night just to satisfy the munchies. Ganja-induced cravings are pretty intense, after all.

Speaking of which, as an aside, back in the day, after smoking bud, I once actually chowed down on a box of bacon-flavored Beggin’ Strips. Dog snacks. In my defense, there were no White Castles around at that time, so what other option did I have? (Don’t answer that.) Since then, the beckoning white faux-parapets have come and gone. Probably for the best, lest I be tempted to make a drive-thru detour, because …

I’m going through one of my periodic vegetarian phases again! Not giving up the burgers, though. I love love love the vegetarian Boca Burgers! The All-American Flame Grilled is my favorite. So I still get to have my burgers, even if they’re not of the royal variety, and I don’t have to worry about literally dying to have one.

Good timing on my part, this most recent vegetarian stint of mine, considering that 22 million lbs. of frozen beef patties have been recalled due to an E. Coli outbreak, traced back to a Topps Meat Company plant. Who knows from whence come my tiny, cherished burgers? Better to not take chances. E. Coli is apparently never pleasant, but this particular strain takes it to a higher level, and can cause kidney failure, even death! Not just your run-of-the-mill cramps and diarrhea variety.

The thing is, it’s not really Topps’ fault, in my opinion. All they do is grind, mold into perfect circles, and freeze the meat they’re given from the slaughterhouse, before passing the finished product on to their retailers in a whatever-your-name-is labelled box. Yet, after 67 years of being the #1, primo, head honcho of the frozen patty industry, Topps is going out of business. “The Hamburger People” are no more, unable to deal with this massive recall.

What’s sad is that, well, just last week, every Topps employee went to work, grinding, molding, freezing, and thinking that all was well. And now, this week, they’ve unexpectedly lost it all. No job, the company is kaput, and all because some sloppy meat vendor didn’t train their carcass-slashing grunts to stear clear of the intestines while wielding those cleavers in the slaughterhouse.

I can use such harsh language, because I’m a vegetarian, remember? For now, anyway. It will probably last for a few months, as it usually does, until I have an undeniable craving for a White Castle cheeseburger, or a Big Mac. But I can always come back and edit this article later. For now, though, I’m happy with my Boca burgers, and I have no need to be concerned about bloody diarrhea, kidney failure, or death.

So I have no worries, unlike the Topps employees. Former employees, I should say. Even gung-ho vegetarians (not part-time participants like myself) recognize that this is not necessarily a good thing, given the fact that all 87 workers are now unemployed.

Sure, there will probably be more happy cows. There will undoubtedly also be more unhappy, paycheck-deficient families. Suffering for, as far as I can tell, anyway, something that was not their fault in the first place. Even we vegetarians can sympathize with that.

food safety, topps meat company, topps hamburger, hamburger recall, vegetarianism, beef recall, topps employees, unemployment