Iran, The Gay-Free Zone
Remember Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s recent homily and Q&A campus-session at Columbia University? Mahmoud delivered quite the performance for students and faculty. Crazy people can be entertaining. If nothing else, his much-publicized dissertation almost makes fellow world leader George Bush appear to be somewhat sane, rational and levelheaded. Almost. Okay, nah, that might be too much of a stretch. Never mind.
Crazy, yes, but Mahmoud also showed that he has a knack for comedy as well. From time to time, his inner stand-up comic could not be suppressed and would blurt a zany one-liner, much to the delight of the audience. There were several similarly noteable comedic moments, but this classic gem is the one that certainly garnered the most media attention. From the transcript:
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. (Laughter.) We don’t have that in our country. (Booing.) In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have it. (Laughter.)
The crowd laughed, heckled, and then laughed some more. If this presidential gig doesn’t work out as planned, there will always be open mike night at the Laugh Factory. One should always have something to fall back on.
But seriously, folks …
Of course the remark was laughable because of its absolute absurdity. Right? Sorry, Mahmoud, you might want to rethink some of your material. Sometimes the audience is laughing at you, not with you. On second thought, could it possibly be true that there really is no gaiety in Iran? Well, after further investigation, it turns out he was right! He wasn’t just being a wisecracker, pulling the audience’s collective leg, after all. Nope, there really are no homosexuals in Iran. At least none amongst the living. And if a rogue flamer does perchance pop up from time to time, that offender is dealt with in short order and punished. Capitally.
Yep, Iran is indeed a gay-free zone. No joke.
During a peace conference in May between the Iranian and British parliamentaries, Mohsen Yahyavi, a high ranking Iranian politician, for the first time acknowledged that Iran’s sentence for homosexuality is the death penalty. Public hanging is apparently the method of choice.
In the meeting, Yahyavi, when questioned about the reports, responded that “gays deserve to be executed or tortured and possibly both” because, of course, Islam forbids homosexuality. So there you have it. Hang ‘em high, and Allah bless Iran! Kind of makes the radical Christian competition on this side of the pond (e.g., Fred Phelps and his band of “God Hates Fags” loonies) seem like a bunch of wusses, huh?
Well, I’ll certainly be cancelling my reservation at the Tehran Hilton, that’s for sure! Allah forbid I might get caught ogling some Middle Eastern hottie passerby. Next stop, the gallows. Not quite what I had on the agenda. And that Mahmoud stand-up routine I was hoping to catch while in town probably wouldn’t have been so funny after all, all things considered.
By the way, these two teenagers were convicted of homosexuality by Iranian authorities and subsequently, well, dealt with accordingly. I find this image very, very disturbing.

iran, ahmadinejad, homosexuality, yahyavi, gay execution

November 14th, 2007 at 5:16 am
Well, no wonder atheists such as Harris, Hitchens, and Dawkins are attacking religion so vigorously. This is truly an example of the dark side of religious belief. Thankfully, many of us are willing and able to separate the wheat from the chaff in our religious traditions. But obviously not yet enough of us.
November 14th, 2007 at 9:46 am
OMG! Doug that’s heartbreaking!! It enrages me that religious extremists will not accept people that the God they worship created. Some children are smarter than adults. I had this conversation with my daughter a few weeks ago.
“Mommy why are some people gay?” said my 9 year old. I told her just like God made you with brown eyes and brown hair he made some people gay. She looked at me and smiled and said ” if God made them that way, It’s okay.” I said you’re right as long as the person is nice…Who cares!
Someone said to me maybe she’s too young to know about such things. I said what’s wrong with teaching your children about love and acceptance? I went on to tell my daughter about the people who are in our family who are gay and lesbian. In her words” no big deal, when can we start working on my Halloween costume?”
November 14th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Rainlillie - I think your daughter put it perfectly when she said “if God made them that way, it’s okay.” I remember yrs ago when I told my daughter that I was gay, she was probably about 9 at the time, too, she just said “I don’t care, you’re still my dad.” Kids are cool.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Oh yeah, and I’d take an atheist any day over some fanatical religious nut! The things done in God’s name sometimes must really get on His nerves. Her nerves. Whatever. If only He was still prone to smiting from time to time …
November 14th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
“I don’t care, you’re still my dad.?
That’s so sweet! My hope is they won’t become jaded. They’ll always have pure hearts and be accepting of others.
November 14th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Doug, what a special daughter you must have! Perhaps that is a testiment to the type of dad you are.
Regarding the picture: my. That is indeed disturbing. I can’t put into words how I feel after seeing it.
November 14th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Thanks Stacee, I did my best. She’s 21 now, and seems to have turned out just fine. I’ll proudly take my share of the credit, giving due credit as well to her mom and step-dad. By the way, that picture leaves me speechless, too. It’s beyond words.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
If you believe God made homosexual people the way they are, then you have to accept that he made racists and bigots with the exact tendencies that we dislike in them.
I’m not defending them, just trying to understand them.
November 17th, 2007 at 2:51 am
Nah, Tim, I respectfully disagree. I know personally that sexuality is not a choice, I was born gay and I know that. If I were racist or a bigot, that would definitely be something that I would have become because of my environment or upbringing. No one is born to hate. My opinion.
November 18th, 2007 at 7:49 am
‘No one is born to hate.’
Exactly.
Racists, bigots and homosexuality. What a curious comparison.
November 24th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
George W. Bush is indeed hated and despised. Bush may not be “self-aware” relative to his narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of mentally ill people are oblivious and/or in denial of their mental illness. But Bush is probably aware that he has psychological problems. Bush may quibble over semantics or interpretations or opinions about whether it would be appropriate or fair to say that he has psychological problems of “clinical significance.”
George W. Bush is gravely mentally ill and needs help.
It is on the Internet: people are “counting the days til Bush leaves office.”
The American people can hardly wait til Bush leaves office. The presidency of Bush has been a nightmare for the American people and for the world. The narcissistic personality disorder of Bush has certainly contributed to what is almost his inability to do anything right.
Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
http://andrewyu-jenwang.blogspot.com/