Current Events Watch

Long before Betsy Ross scissor-snipped her first star, or stitched her first stripe, young America had experimented with various and sundry flags to proudly represent its new-found independence! Some of the contestants should have, without question, been voted off early in the competition.

The well-known Navy Jack, shown above, was no doubt an early elimination. DONT TREAD ON ME [sic]. An unfortunate punctuation faux pas. If they had only had spell-check back in the day, the guy may have had a chance to make it into the finals. Damn those apostrophes!

Betsy progressed in the competition, however, by wisely avoiding text, and came out on top. Stars and stripes forever! So after the drumroll, confetti, hugs, tears, and no doubt much flag-waving, they had a winner. Who knew that 231-plus years later her winning design would still be flying (albeit with a few more stars)?

A long-standing, award-winning design like that certainly deserves respect, of course, and ought not to be taken lightly. It’s a symbol, after all, of our freedom, our independence, our country, America the beautiful. Land of the free, home of the brave. Some of those idioms might be questionable, but I’ll let that go.

People still like the star-stripe theme, and the colors are pretty (adding a splash of blue was genius!). Now anything red, white and blue, based on Betsy’s winning color palette, is recognized instantly as representative of this fine nation, and often used in ceremony to convey honor to and respect for those that serve, and those who have served, this great land of ours. Ms. Ross’s most ardent fans, though, sometimes take things a bit too far!

In an Oregon dog park, a fire hydrant, painted in Old Glory fashion, was installed as a memorial to a police dog named Hondo, who was killed in a police chase of a suspect a decade ago. Hondo got caught up in the crossfire, in the line of duty. What better way to memorialize a police dog than with a fire hydrant? Dogs (at least boy dogs) and fire hydrants kind of go together, and the canines are certainly an integral part of the police force, deserving the same honor and respect as their biped partners. They, too, protect and serve. I think it’s a nice, honorable, appropriate tribute, paying homage to a servant who lost his life in the line of duty. But then again, I’m not really a flag fanatic.

Well, the memorial was removed, because critics thought other dogs would disrespectfully urinate on it! No pissing on the red, white and blue!

As quoted in the AP link above: “‘While hydrants are playfully associated with dogs as a ‘target,’ this hydrant was specifically designed and painted to serve as a very personal tribute to a service animal killed in the line of duty,’ said Hillsboro parks spokeswoman Corinne Bloomfield.”

See? It was meant to be a good thing. No disrespect intended. But, as Itchmo reports:

When some local residents saw pictures of the American flag hydrant in the dog park, they were horrified at the thought of a dog urinating on it.

One resident wrote: “That gallant dog [Hondo] must be turning in his grave at the thought of the flag being desecrated every time a dog pees on that hydrant!�

Firstly, dogs are pretty much color blind, so I doubt if Hondo really knows about the red, white and blue thing. He probably doesn’t care. In fact, who knows … maybe pissing on his memorial, in the dog world, is a sign of paying due respect? I’d bet that Cesar Millan knows. I’ll send an email. I do love that Dog Whisperer guy. In any event, I seriously doubt if Hondo is “turning over in his grave.”

I understand that the memorial hydrant has now been returned, which is only appropriate considering that it resides in a dog park named in Hondo’s honor. But they will be installing a fence to keep the pissers away. What they’re going to do to prevent a rogue, anti-American bird from taking a crap on the stars and stripes, well, I guess that’s still up in the air, so to speak. One step at a time.

By the way, speaking of fanatics, if you’re concerned about a dog pissing on a red, white and blue fire hydrant, you might want to brush up on the US government’s Flag Code, just to ensure that you’re behaving yourself and are being appropriately respectful of our national banner. Sometimes we need a refresher course.

At the post office, be sure to ask for the first-class stamps with the pretty flowers, or something from the Elvis series. As long as it’s not one of those flag stamps, you’re good to go. You should probably also burn that stars and stripes tie you wear every 4th of July. Not to mention that if you have Old Glory hanging in front of your house 24/7, you’ll need to invest in some outdoor lighting fixtures for the necessary nighttime illumination. And finally, look away when you’re watching the next sporting event when those service people are holding that jumbo flag on the field during The National Anthem … in a horizontal position!

Final thoughts. I find it funny that The American Legion, one of the biggest proponents of the US Flag Code (which, by the way, if violated could in some instances land you in jail, from what I understand), and posting the entire, lengthy code on their website to enlighten the ignorant, is in flagrant violation of the Code on their own home page. Check it out, because the Flag Code clearly says:

“The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever.”

They’re certainly not practicing what they preach! Ads for lots of stuff, all with the red, white and blue. Funny, that.

Patriotism, good. Red, white and blue fanaticism, kind of creepy. And according to the government’s Flag Code, “the flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.” Well, that is definitely creepy. If true, I have a crumpled living thing in the bottom of my hall closet! Not waving freely, not folded properly, and definitely touching the ground. Oh, well. Don’t report me. At least it hasn’t been trodden or pissed upon.

american flag, patriotism, dog park, hondo, police dog, flag code