Current Events Watch

In case you haven’t heard, the United States Bridge Federation bigwigs have now made nice with the players on the US Venice Cup world championship bridge team. Yep, there truly is a federation, there really is a cup, and we actually have a team. (Who knew? Live and learn, I guess.) With such sharply honed card-playing skills, team America earned a spot at the table in Shanghai for the mother of all global bridging competitions … and won. USA! USA! We are the champions of the world! At least in the card-playing world. We seem to have had somewhat less success in dissimilar global contests as of late, so this is one victory well worth celebrating. You go, girls!

You’d have thunk that the esteemed federation would have been as proud as a peacock. Turns out, well, not so much. One of the four champs had a Natalie Maines moment during the award acceptance ceremony, holding up a sign (actually, a Magically Markered defaced menu) upon which had been scrawled “We Did Not Vote For Bush.”

That didn’t go over so well. The foursome was shortly thereafter threatened with sanctions by the top dogs in the world of bridge! Sanctions! A one-year suspension from federation events, including the World Bridge Olympiad next year in Beijing (no, not that!), a one-year probation after proposed suspension, 200 hours of community service to further the interests of organized bridge, and an apology drafted by the federation’s lawyer.

Oh yeah, and a written statement ratting out who came up with that bright idea in the first place. Pretty much everything short of wearing one of them there ankle bracelet monitor thingys.

According to this article in the New York Times, the perpetrator, one Debbie Greenberg, said she decided to flash her sanction-warranting sign after being questioned by players from other countries about American interrogation techniques, the war in Iraq and other various and sundry foreign policy issues.

“There was a lot of anti-Bush feeling, questioning of our Iraq policy and about torture,� Ms. Greenberg said. “I can’t tell you it was an overwhelming amount, but there were several specific comments, and there wasn’t the same warmth you usually feel at these events.�

Really? Go figure. I can’t imagine why.

Still, like I said, it’s all cool now. According to the USBF website, despite fellow bridge players deluging the feds’ inboxes with emails accusing the ladies of treason and sedition (damn, these people are more hardcore than we poker players!), they “have resolved all issues relating to events that occurred at the closing ceremony of the 2007 World Bridge Championship in Shanghai. We all believe that it is in the best interests of bridge to put this behind us so that we can focus on playing the game we love.”

Thank goodness they were able to resolve their differences in the best interest of bridge. As long as at future events the team is disallowed simultaneous access to Magic Markers and menus, all should go smoothly. By the way, if you didn’t check out the New York Times’ link above, do so now. Doesn’t contestant four, far right, look exactly like Ray Romano in drag?

anti-bush, george bush, bridge championship, bush protest

Promises, promises. CNN moderator Wolf “Grizzly Adams” Blitzer at the Democratic debate in Las Vegas the other night:

“Everyone’s going to get time tonight. Don’t worry. We got a lot of time. Go ahead.” And later, just to make it perfectly clear, “Let me just point out, everyone’s going to have plenty of time tonight … we’ll bring everybody in, I promise.”

Okay, I suppose technically the razor-phobic Master of Ceremonies did live up to his word. All Democratic free-world-leader-wannabes were indeed given their time on the soapbox. Obama had his eighteen minutes. Clinton had her sixteen. Hell, even Richardson was allowed over fourteen minutes of stiffly delivered speechifying, topping Edwards’ eleven! How that happened, I have no idea.

My new bud Dennis Kucinich, though, got … five minutes. All right, it was nearly five and a half. Still coming up short (pun intended) to even Dodd and Biden, who respectively were permitted seven and nine minutes of chat time.

Nothing new, I guess. It seems that in every debate, Kucinich is routinely dismissed, although he consistently makes the most sense when given a chance to speak. I am becoming increasingly committed to tossing my hat into the DK camp when the primaries roll around. I will subsequently, no doubt, then have to decide whether to join the Clinton or Obama parade, but at least I’ll know I tried.

CNN’s debate moderators suck. Wolf in particular. I’d like to, just once, see a forum of potential candidates, each given the opportunity to respond to every question, given equal time, and not simply a parody of a debate such as what was aired the other night.

If for nothing else, Kucinich deserves props for snagging a hot wife, half his age and twice as tall. With a tongue stud, no less. Go, Dennis! Maybe those moderator guys asking the questions are just a wee bit jealous. You’ve got to hand it to the little dude, he got game. It’s just too bad he’s usually benched when it comes to these presidential competitions.

At least, when given the rare opportunity to speak last Thursday night, Kucinich did make the most of his limited time, as is summarily presented in the following video compilation of the man-who-should-be-president’s rationed participatory comments.

On a final note, I should probably apologize for being so critical of CNN and Mr. Blitzer. After all, had Kucinich been allowed to ramble on, there may not have been enough time at the end of the program for Hillary to respond to the question that we all desperately wanted answered … diamonds or pearls?

dennis kucinich, election 2008, presidential election, democratic debate, presidential debate, cnn debate, kucinich youtube video

Today is Veterans Day, a day to pay homage to the servicemen and servicewomen who have fought and sacrificed life and limb to make this nation the shining beacon of freedom and hope that is America. God bless, and hats off to the brave and willing, both past and present, who have proven their mettle by protecting us and the rest of the world from the bad guys.

There have always been and no doubt always will be a handful of maniacal leaders in the world who certainly need to be dealt with (I’ll let that and succeeding observations go for now.) But we as a nation are always prepared, ready to step in and deal accordingly with their respective threats. History has proven that the bad-guy leaders of nations are ruthless and take no prisoners (or sometimes they do, I guess, depending on the circumstance) while attempting to achieve their ultimate malevolent goals. Our role, as global superpower, is to effectively intercede and show other power-hungry chieftains that their wicked agendas will not be tolerated! I mean, seriously, if they are killing people to achieve a political objective or to advance an ideology, they are nothing but evil.

No, wait, I can’t take credit for that last profoundly insightful sentence. I wish I could, but I wouldn’t want to plagiarize our Commander in Chief. That could possibly result in rather harsh penalties, perhaps up to and including waterboarding, and whether that qualifies as torture or not (apparently the jury is still out … Mukasey doesn’t even know), I’ll have none of it! So I’ll give credit where credit is due. Well said, Mr. Bush, well said indeed. Truer words have never been spoken. Those who condone killing people to achieve a political objective or to advance an ideology are indeed evil. For once we agree.

Yes, believe it or not, George W. Bush actually uttered those words. Apparently even the mentally ill and delusional have occasional periods of lucidity. It’s just too bad he didn’t have that epiphany pre-March 2003.

He shared these words of wisdom this past Thursday in San Antonio, at a ritzy Republican fundraiser just after having duly visited the Center for the Intrepid at Brooke Army Medical Center in recognition of Veterans Day. Curiously and somewhat morbidly enough, he had the nerve to make this statement as part of his speech in defense of the US war against and subsequent occupation of Iraq after having just personally met with his maimed, mutilated, burned, disfigured, injured, pick your adjective victims. Although, I guess technically, he did have some wiggle room, since those with whom he met hadn’t actually been killed for achievement or advancement of any political objective or ideology. They had just had their limbs and faces blown off. Still, the oxymoronic incongruity of his words was apparently lost on an audience of ardent admirers. Not surprisingly, I suppose. Sheeple seldom understand irony. I’m sure he received an enthusiastic round of bleating.

Whatever. As disgusted as I was when I read that, not to mention my infuriation when hearing AWOL-Bush’s Veterans Day radio address and reading asshole Five-Time-Dodger-Cheney’s speech at Arlington National Cemetery today praising the valor and bravery of those that serve, the thing that was most appalling was this: Dubya had just spent hours with those whom he and his band of brothers (and sister, too … don’t want to neglect Condi) had needlessly fucked up by sending them into the quagmire of Iraq, and then shortly thereafter was front and center delivering a speech in defense of the war. How does this gang sleep at night? How can George Bush in good conscience, after having just witnessed firsthand the human devastation that he has wrought, stand up and spew the same old crap rhetoric in a weak, but apparently effective, attempt to justify his unwarranted and illegal (not-quite-so-accomplished) mission in Iraq which was based on deliberate lies and intentional deception?

It was, I suppose, simply another most excellent photo op. Strike a Presidential pose and smile for the camera, job well done. Now there’s one mission accomplished! To all (or most) of the veterans, thank you. To George W. Bush, I hope you have nightmares.

veterans, veterans day, george bush, iraq war, war casualties, center for the intrepid

My political archrival and commentor Mark Karr submitted this noteworthy link, in response to my previous Cheney-impeachment post. I’m glad he did. It was, in fact, a fine footnote to the article, justifying my expressed disenchantment with my own Democratic party. Of course, I could counter with similar switchback rhetoric from the rival side, too. Here’s a speech from the Dick himself apropos of Iraq, since he was, after all, the subject of the article and impetus for Mark’s comment. Just leveling the playing field. But Mark certainly made some valid points.

Political pandering, from either side, gets on my nerves, hence my proclivity to espouse the Kucinich manifesto per my previously referenced column. He doesn’t play that game. Of course, I certainly don’t want to waste a vote and give the NeoCons another turn at bat. That would suck. And, although runners-up to the little dude in my personal polling results (I sometimes talk to myself), I also like the woman in the pantsuit, the black guy sans flag-pinned lapel, and the man with the expensive hairdo, too. So they’re still in the game. Whichever one I think is most likely to win will be my candidate of choice, since I certainly don’t want to Naderize the end result. Still, I hope that Dennis will become a Menace within the Dem-squad. Miracles do happen.

Just look at Ron Paul, on the other side of the political fence. He stood no chance in hell, but lo and behold, he’s suddenly a contender!

Finally picking up steam and gaining some much-needed support in his campaign for the White House, even setting a one-day fundraising record. Talk about coming from behind! Now, if only Dennis can rally such support. I’ve said it before, it pains me to even begin to think of myself championing anyone with a suffixed (R) behind his name. Perish the thought! It’s actually quite distressing to even consider. But as I have previously, candidly confessed, I really, really like this guy. At least I’m not the sole liberal giving Paul props, of course. As the video in an earlier post corroborates, even my outspoken liberal compadre Bill Maher is a fan. Ron Paul simply makes sense.

And he hasn’t, doesn’t, won’t, under any circumstances, buckle to political pressure. He is extraordinarily steadfast and consistent. He and Kucinich have a lot in common in that respect. And, frankly, I agree with Paulie on pretty much all of the issues, too. Not such a surprise, really, considering that before committing to Republicanism, he ran as the Libertarian candidate for president in ‘88, and as it turned out, my test results put me in the Libertarian camp as well. I’m quite sure that the only reason he’s running as a Republican instead of Libertarian is that he knows, as do we all, that it really comes down to one of two parties that have any chance of coming out on top.

I can only hope that Kucinich will at some point garner a Ron Paul-like surge of support. I would like to be able to vote for him and know that it was a chad worthily punched. If not, I’ll probably go with Hillary, Barack or John. Or possibly Ron. There, I said it. Yikes.

dennis kucinich, ron paul, election 2008, presidential campaign, presidential candidates

Just the other day I was bitching about my pussy-whipped fellow Dems for not taking any action to depose the despots in DC. Then today, enter the little man with the big balls.

I’ll eat crow when I have to. So I’ll admit, I have on more than one occasion been rather unkind to the diminutive fellow who would be President, Dennis Kucinich. I have been rather dismissive of the guy, but not because I don’t like him. In fact, I’ve also said that I think he makes the most sense. I agree with virtually his entire platform. It’s just that I haven’t really considered the possibility of him having a chance in hell of being a finalist in the competition, so I’ve been concentrating on the three front-runners.

Then, yesterday on Capitol Hill, stood Dennis Kucinich officially calling for the impeachment of one Richard B. Cheney. Huzzah! Even if tippy-toeing to clear the podium on the House floor, here was someone, at last, taking a stand and proclaiming the need to excise the first, and most dangerous, of the two malignancies that have been allowed to aggressively spread for far too long. Cliff’s Notes version (well, my synopsis, not so much Cliff’s) of House Resolution 333, Articles of Impeachment Relating to Vice President Richard B. Cheney, a paraphrase of my elfin hero:

“Despite all evidence to the contrary, Richard Cheney had purposely manipulated the intelligence process to deceive the citizens and the Congress by fabricating a threat of Iraqi weapons of mass destruction to justify the use of the US armed forces against the nation of Iraq in a manner damaging to our national security. Preceding the invasion of Iraq, was fully informed that no legitimate evidence existed of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The vice president pressured the intelligence community to change their findings to enable the deception of the citizens and the Congress.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, manipulated the intelligence process to deceive the citizens and the Congress about an alleged relationship between Iraq and Al Qaida in order to justify the use of United States armed forces against the nation of Iraq in a manner damaging to our national security. Preceding the March 2003 invasion of Iraq, was fully informed that no credible evidence existed of a working relationship between Iraq and Al Qaida, a fact articulated in several official documents.

Despite no evidence that Iran has the intention or the capability of attacking the United States, and despite the turmoil created by the United States’s invasion of Iraq, openly threatened aggression against the Republic of Iran, absent any real threat to the United States, and has done so with the United States’s proven capability to carry out such threats, thus undermining the national security interests of the United States.”

Now if only my party pals will support the resolution. Likely? I’m not getting my hopes up, but at least it’s finally on the table. I’m afraid most will continue to prefer idle chatter instead of actually taking any action, lest they step on unfriendly toes. But at least it will go down in history that someone in Congress took the initiative to publicly recognize and attempted to eradicate the corruption that defined the US of A under the Bush-Cheney administration.

As an aside, I am increasingly impressed with Mr. Kucinich’s consistency on the issues, without pandering to the dissenting, without flip-flopping or spinning rhetoric to appease the noncommital, unlike his competing candidates. I can only hope that things may change, and he might in the end be a contender, although I’m pretty sure that’s still pretty iffy.

He may not be the biggest man, but he sure as hell has the biggest balls. The rest of the Democrats need to grow some. That includes Hillary, although the pantsuits might require some customized tailoring.

impeachment, dick cheney, dennis kucinich, articles of impeachment, george bush, iraq war, government, election 2008

Prez George W. Bush and Veep Dick B. Cheney clearly need to be institutionalized. I’m not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on TV, but it doesn’t take doc smarts to make that diagnosis. The behavioral symptoms of the two-headed monster obviously indicate clinical psychosis. As summarily defined by our friends Merriam and Webster: PSYCHOSIS - “Fundamental derangement of the mind (as in schizophrenia) characterized by defective or lost contact with reality especially as evidenced by delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized speech and behavior.”

Well, there you have it. No need for a second opinion. Even I am able to call this one, sans medical credentials or framed diplomas. Forget impeachment, that’s probably a pipe dream anyway. The Democrats won’t do anything, haven’t stepped up to the plate to even bunt, much less hit a home run, and no doubt have no intention of doing so, despite their Bush-bashing rhetoric. They have disappointed, big time. Even a base hit would have been appreciated. A little less talk and a lot more action, maybe?

Instead, the war of words, Dems vs. Commander-in-Chief and cronies, has proven to be about as successful as BushCo’s own wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. So because of my impotent and spineless fellow party members, the Mad Cowboy-Hatter with dick in tow still has free reign, sucking us all deeper into the cesspool of warmongering insanity. Next stop before going down the drain, Iran.

Rattle the sabers and beat the drums! Watch out, Mahmoud, here we come. Why? Um, well, because … that’s a stupid question. Madmen need no reason. They make shit up, and all subordinate lemmings of patriotic citizenry are expected to, and usually do, follow blindly.

Needless, pointless, unwarranted hundreds of billions of dollars spent (tallying continues) and hundreds of thousands of dead folks sacrificed for the worthy cause that is Iraq isn’t enough to appease these psychos. The game hasn’t gone as well as planned, and being sore losers, their dementia takes control and they decide that now might be a fine time to start a new game. Never mind that we’re already running short on game pieces.

Quiz time. Why should Iran be our next wargames-marathon opponent? Multiple choice again, kind of like in Iraq: WMDs, Hussein-Bin Laden collusion … nope and nope. Regime change, well, that happened, but now it’s even worse, if that’s possible. Iraqi Freedom? Please, give me a break. Spreading democracy? That certainly has not worked out so well, despite all of the purple fingers. Nothing really stuck there, no correct answer to the question “why”, in spite of multiple choices. Maybe they’ll have better luck with Iran. So here are your options for this round of play. Cast your vote for the best reason to shock and awe yet another oil-pumping country.

A - Last week’s Bush-babble: “If you’re interested in avoiding World War III … you ought to be interested in preventing Iran from having the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.”

(Knowledge is a threat? We not only know how to make, we do make. If anyone could start WWIII it would be, well, never mind … don’t want to give the insane any crazy ideas. It’s probably too late, anyway.)

B - Sunday’s Cheney-chatter: warning of “the Iranian regime’s efforts to destabilize the Middle East and to gain hegemonic power … we cannot stand by as a terror-supporting state fulfills its most aggressive ambitions.”

(I had to look up hegemonic. Apparently being delusional does not preclude one from possessing a highly-developed vocabulary.)

C - Tuesday’s Bush-blather: insisted on the need “to defend Europe against the emerging Iranian threat.”

(What? Who knew Iran is a major threat to Europe? Is Ahmadinejad mad at anyone in Europe? As far as I know, not really so much. Even if he was, what would he do … nuke’em with that missile that he doesn’t have? Come on, definite lunacy behind this one. Only crazy people would consider something like that.)

Is it unconstitutional to commit the country’s leaders to an accredited mental health facility for treatment against their will? Now there’s an amendment I would fully support, because these two psychos could apparently use some professional help. A lobotomy would be an excellent start. I’m sure the rest of the world would thank us.

iran, iraq, george bush, dick cheney, nuclear weapons, world war iii

As I write this, we’re taking the first of three bathroom breaks scheduled for tonight’s two-hour Democratic debate. Even presidential candidates apparently have to occassionally pee. Who knew? They’re done now, I hear Tim Russert asking the next question. I’ll be back.

All righty then, we’re at break number two. So far, so good. What is so clearly obvious is that the three real candidates are receiving the most questions, and are also positioned front and center. We’ve got Chris Dodd and Joe Biden stage left, and Dennis Kucinich and Bill Richardson stage right.

Center stage is, of course, John, Hillary and Barack. No surnames required for the stars of the show. Think Cher.

At the third break, I myself had to take a time out to visit the little boys’ room, so now the debate is over, and the media analysis has begun. I’ve switched channels, not so interested in others’ opinions after this one. I think the winner of this round is clearly Barack. At least amongst the three leading stars of the show. I have decided that I do like Keebler Elf Dennis Kucinich, I really do, but he doesn’t stand a chance in hell of winning the nomination. He may have made the most sense of anyone else on stage tonight, from what little we heard from the tiny man, but keeping it real, we all know it’s going to come down to one of the three major players. I think in this evening’s debate, Barack decidedly came out on top.

I was rooting for Hillary, and I know she leads in the polls, but her lackluster performance tonight was a bit disappointing. I still like her, and would like to see a woman as President, and will support her if she makes it through the primaries. But for now, I’m siding with the black dude.

The complete transcript is here in case you missed it. Hillary did stumble quite a bit, but then again, the big boys were pushing her around. I’m sure it was hard for her to keep her footing.

Of course I missed elimination night of Dancing With The Stars. I’ll have to check online now to see who was voted off … I hope it wasn’t Jane. Fingers crossed.

presidential debate, democratic debate, hillary clinton, barack obama, john edwards, dennis kucinich, joe biden, chris dodd, bill richardson, election 2008, presidential election

Don’t get me wrong, I love women (just not in “that” way), but being a card-carrying member of the rainbow tribe, ladies’ undergarments do not interest me whatsoever. A beautiful babe strutting her stuff within arm’s length, clad only in a lacy Victoria’s Secret thong, would do no more for me than if she would have opted for a pair of K-Mart granny panties. I would guess that the granny panties would probably be more comfortable, actually, sans that thong strap riding up the ass all day. Seems to me that that might cause some uncomfortable chafing. Either way, after a lengthy yawn, my inclination would be to ask her to get dressed so we could go grab a cup of coffee.

Still, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that panties have ever necessarily frightened me. I have just chosen to keep my distance. It’s a personal decision. So you can imagine how fortunate I felt when I learned that, thanks to my panty-avoidance lifestyle, I have saved myself from the inevitable power-sapping side effects of a close encounter of the panty kind! With my new-found knowledge, courtesy of Burma’s Than Shwe and his fellow Burmese co-horts, I am certainly counting my blessings. Read on and learn!

Burma’s superstitious generals, particularly junta chief Than Shwe, believe that contact with any item of women’s wear deprives them of their power.

Well, now we know. Thanks to smart ladies around the world, they’ve come together to do their part in eliminating Than Shwe’s brutal military junta rule in Burma (although I’m still thankful for the lesson!) by participating in a Panties For Peace crusade!

Yep, from all over the world, women are FedExing (or MyanmarExing, I really don’t know) packages of panties to Burma and its various embassy outposts, attempting to debilitate the regime. Keep it up, ladies! Who knows which lacy undergarment might just be the final straw to break the camel’s back? Maybe, just maybe, given enough panty-power, Aung San Suu Kyi will be able to take her rightful place as leader. No more torture, no more murder, no more empty monasteries.

So keep it up. I now have even more reason to steer clear of the pantily clad, of course, but at least they might be good for something. In all seriousness, any sort of campaign or activism that keeps this Burma issue (mess) at least in the semi-spotlight, is a good thing. We quickly forget about such things, and move on, without doing anything to cause change.

Speaking of which, let’s keep an eye on this. If this power-sapping, panty-fear theory of Than Shwe’s proves to be true … well, keep some boxes and packaging tape on hand, because we’ll have some important shipping to do. Mail your panties to:

burma, panties for peace, myanmar, military junta, peace campaign, george bush

The other night Wayne Newton and partner Cheryl Burke were voted off of Dancing With The Stars. Danke schoen. No doubt Miss Cheryl was relieved. I know it was only a couple of weeks into the competition, but it seemed like an eternity … the man couldn’t pull off a decent tango if his life depended on it. Even the fake pony tail, paste-on mustache, and his ever-distracting mannequin-like appearance (plastic surgery is no doubt very lucrative) wasn’t enough to divert attention from the fact that the Vegas lounge lizard simply can’t cut a rug. Good riddance, but nice try. Hope he bought a round-trip ticket.

Speaking of distractions, reality TV has certainly captured the nation’s attention. We spend our evenings watching folks dance, sing, invent, build, hand out roses, lose the flab, eat bugs, and form various alliances. Nothing wrong with that, I have my favorites, too. Can’t wait for Simon, Paula and Randy to come back! Not to mention cutie-pie Ryan, hope he makes it out of the closet in time for the season opener.

Meanwhile, real reality easily flies under the radar.

As an abnormally hairy Wayne was being ousted, over on CNN Larry King was interviewing former president of Mexico Vicente Fox. Very good interview, by the way, in case you didn’t Tivo it. The thing that stood out most to me, though, is that this was, as far as I know, the first public acknowledgement made by one of the original party planners, of the grandiose scheme to create the North American Union, merging Canada, the US and Mexico … one mega-nation, indivisible. The better to govern and, of course, trade with you, my dear.

George Bush thought that that would be a fabulous idea, and met with Fox and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin to discuss this most marvelous of plans, both who quickly jumped on board. No more borders! When was that first discussed? Back in 2005. How many people knew about it at the time? How many people know about it two years later? Not as many as were and still are no doubt glued to the tube getting their fix of reality. It happens. We’re easily distracted. Helpful for George, too, to better pursue his agenda with little attention. Best to avoid the naysayers until it’s too late.

I hope the US-Mexico border fence can easily be disassembled and snapped back together a bit farther south, protecting the new union’s southern border from undesirables. As it stands now, the fence would probably hinder construction of the NAFTA-on-steroids Superhighway that is a key part of this plan, to eventually web its way through (former) Mexico, the (former) US of A, and finally throughout (former) Canada. Eventually, of course, because these things take time!

And forget about the Almighty Dollar! That currency exchange rate would be a pain in the ass, particularly if you had a pocket full of pesos and wanted to take a road trip up north. (”See the NAU in a Chevrolet!”) Hail to the Almighty Amero!

There’s really no excuse, with all of the resources available to us lowly peons, for not paying attention to what’s going on in the world and within our government. It should behoove us, indeed, given the track record of Bushco. The White House just keeps its collective fingers crossed about such things, hoping that at least the majority will be so fascinated with who’s going to be evicted this week that such goings-on won’t really get much attention. Then one day, voila! “Hey, folks, look what we did! Oh yeah, and here’s a handful of Ameros to get you started!”, leaving all of us scratching our heads, thinking “WTF?”

Kind of like the Blackwater thing … it wasn’t really ever a secret, but you had to do your own research to find out about it. Never discussed by the administration, never given any media attention. Congress was pretty much in the dark about it, too. (Bush? Leaving Congress out of the loop? Completely unexpected!) Until recently, of course, when the shadow army was outed by some angry Iraqis, growing weary of innocent civilian target practice. Condi has now stepped in, duly investigating, re-evaluating, TCOB!

When something hush hush makes media attention, the reaction by the DC folks is, “Well, we had no idea! We’ll get to the bottom of this, not to worry!” The problem isn’t that they had no idea, it is that we the people had no idea. We weren’t paying attention. They knew about it all along.

I’m not always as diligent as I should be. It’s easy to get caught up in watching a handful of fifth-graders make fools of their grown-up counterparts. Meanwhile, other grown-up fools are planning and conniving things we should really be aware of, things that affect us, things that affect the world, things we aren’t told, and things that we should probably be provided the opportunity to throw in our two cents about. Or whatever that would be in Ameros. If we don’t want to be left in the dark, which is often the master plan, we have to take initiative to stay on top of things. Even if we do so … during the break.

north american union, nau, amero, vicente fox, george bush, nafta, reality tv

Let him go. He seems a little crazy, I’ll admit, but Charles Manson is innocent. It was me! That entire Tate-LaBianca fiasco? My idea. Sorry, Charlie, for the last 30-plus years of incarceration, and for the bad press. I was only six in 1969, but very devious and maniacal for my age. Even though I was 1,629 miles away (helped to avoid suspicion), I managed to pull it off. And you were a great scapegoat, being such a psycho and all. But I confess! The whole thing was my idea.

So I’m finally coming clean … water is very cleansing! Particularly effective when strapped to a board and doused with enough H2O that death by drowning seems inevitable. If they do that to me again, I swear, I’ll confess to every past transgression, and even make up some more stuff if need be. I’ll say whatever they want to hear to make them stop with the waterworks already!

While I’m at it, I’d just as well admit now to stealing that necklace at the mall to give Mom for Christmas, 1978. I don’t want to end up back on the board again, I’m still waterlogged and can hardly catch my breath. Oh, yeah, and I may have played a small part in that Black Dahlia murder thing, too, although that would have been in my previous life. I’m not sure about that one, but why not put every possibility on the table, to cover my ass. That waterboard thing, not to mention those slaps up side the head, was torture!

Well, apparently it’s not really torture. Not according to George W. Bush, responding today to the New York Times article revealing the “secret” Justice Department’s legal opinion from 2005, that authorized the use of painful methods, such as “head slaps, freezing temperatures and simulated drownings known as waterboarding, in combination”, to elicit confessions for whatever atrocities might be suspected. This just months after the December 2004 Justice Department’s opinion that publicly declared torture “abhorrent”.

President Bush defended his administration’s methods of detaining and questioning suspects on Friday, though, saying they are both successful and lawful, and that “this government does not torture people.” Either he doesn’t know what’s going on within his own administration and the agencies that be (which wouldn’t surprise me, actually), or King George is once again assuming that spewing repetitive rhetoric and propoganda will be enough to convince his ignorant subjects that all is well. Prince Cheney certainly backs him up:

Vice President Dick Cheney has confirmed that U.S. interrogators subjected captured senior al-Qaeda suspects to a controversial interrogation technique called “water-boarding,� which creates a sensation of drowning.

Cheney claims that the Bush administration doesn’t regard waterboarding as torture and allows the CIA to use it. “It’s a no-brainer for me,� Cheney said at one point in an interview.

Then there’s this gem:

Vice President Dick Cheney, being interviewed by a Fargo, North Dakota, talk radio show host, agreed with the host’s characterization of waterboarding as a “dunk in the water”

Typical Dick.

One especially cruel form of torture is waterboarding, which simulates drowning, the obvious objective being to force the person being tortured to give his torturers information to avoid death by drowning. The US has a long history of rejecting waterboarding as inhumane and degrading. Of course, that was before the Bush/Cheney regime.

-In 1901, an American soldier was court-martialed and sentenced to 10 years of hard labor for waterboarding a suspected Filipino insurgent.

-After World War II, we treated as war criminals Japanese soldiers who had waterboarded American prisoners.

-We court-martialed an American soldier who had aided in the waterboarding of a prisoner in the Vietnam War.

-The Field Manual of the U.S. Army bans waterboarding.

But that was then, and this is now. We’ve changed our minds. Now, anything goes. “Just admit to (fill-in-the-blank), dammit, and we’ll stop.”

It’s really no wonder that after his CIA waterboarding experience that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confessed to everything from masterminding a grand total of 31 terrorist attacks, the shining moment being, of course, September 11, 2001, to planning to send several former US Presidents to prematurely meet their Maker! The dead presidents plans were foiled, of course, by international anti-terrorist agencies. (Our own agencies apparently had no clue. Thank God, others around the world were keeping tabs on the welfare of our former presidents … the world loves us!) And not only did KSM mastermind 9/11, he was also behind the Richard Reid shoe bomb thing, and he personally beheaded WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl. Pretty much anything that made the news. Quite an impressive resume.

Khalid was no doubt a bad guy, and probably involved in typical day to day, routine Al-Quaeda, kill-the-Americans plotting, but I doubt very seriously if he is such a mastermind as to have orchestrated such a vast array of terrorist activity. Four years of being held captive and tortured, though … well, he probably decided to ‘fess up to just about anything and everything. Waterboarding makes you talk. He probably would have admitted to the Manson spree as well, had he been questioned about that. Thank goodness it didn’t come up! I was struggling for something horrendous to confess to, and was growing tired of the “dunks in the water.”

torture, waterboarding, water-boarding, waterboard, al quaeda, guantanamo, iraq war, detainees, terrorism, interrogation, charles manson, george bush, dick cheney

Long before Betsy Ross scissor-snipped her first star, or stitched her first stripe, young America had experimented with various and sundry flags to proudly represent its new-found independence! Some of the contestants should have, without question, been voted off early in the competition.

The well-known Navy Jack, shown above, was no doubt an early elimination. DONT TREAD ON ME [sic]. An unfortunate punctuation faux pas. If they had only had spell-check back in the day, the guy may have had a chance to make it into the finals. Damn those apostrophes!

Betsy progressed in the competition, however, by wisely avoiding text, and came out on top. Stars and stripes forever! So after the drumroll, confetti, hugs, tears, and no doubt much flag-waving, they had a winner. Who knew that 231-plus years later her winning design would still be flying (albeit with a few more stars)?

A long-standing, award-winning design like that certainly deserves respect, of course, and ought not to be taken lightly. It’s a symbol, after all, of our freedom, our independence, our country, America the beautiful. Land of the free, home of the brave. Some of those idioms might be questionable, but I’ll let that go.

People still like the star-stripe theme, and the colors are pretty (adding a splash of blue was genius!). Now anything red, white and blue, based on Betsy’s winning color palette, is recognized instantly as representative of this fine nation, and often used in ceremony to convey honor to and respect for those that serve, and those who have served, this great land of ours. Ms. Ross’s most ardent fans, though, sometimes take things a bit too far!

In an Oregon dog park, a fire hydrant, painted in Old Glory fashion, was installed as a memorial to a police dog named Hondo, who was killed in a police chase of a suspect a decade ago. Hondo got caught up in the crossfire, in the line of duty. What better way to memorialize a police dog than with a fire hydrant? Dogs (at least boy dogs) and fire hydrants kind of go together, and the canines are certainly an integral part of the police force, deserving the same honor and respect as their biped partners. They, too, protect and serve. I think it’s a nice, honorable, appropriate tribute, paying homage to a servant who lost his life in the line of duty. But then again, I’m not really a flag fanatic.

Well, the memorial was removed, because critics thought other dogs would disrespectfully urinate on it! No pissing on the red, white and blue!

As quoted in the AP link above: “‘While hydrants are playfully associated with dogs as a ‘target,’ this hydrant was specifically designed and painted to serve as a very personal tribute to a service animal killed in the line of duty,’ said Hillsboro parks spokeswoman Corinne Bloomfield.”

See? It was meant to be a good thing. No disrespect intended. But, as Itchmo reports:

When some local residents saw pictures of the American flag hydrant in the dog park, they were horrified at the thought of a dog urinating on it.

One resident wrote: “That gallant dog [Hondo] must be turning in his grave at the thought of the flag being desecrated every time a dog pees on that hydrant!�

Firstly, dogs are pretty much color blind, so I doubt if Hondo really knows about the red, white and blue thing. He probably doesn’t care. In fact, who knows … maybe pissing on his memorial, in the dog world, is a sign of paying due respect? I’d bet that Cesar Millan knows. I’ll send an email. I do love that Dog Whisperer guy. In any event, I seriously doubt if Hondo is “turning over in his grave.”

I understand that the memorial hydrant has now been returned, which is only appropriate considering that it resides in a dog park named in Hondo’s honor. But they will be installing a fence to keep the pissers away. What they’re going to do to prevent a rogue, anti-American bird from taking a crap on the stars and stripes, well, I guess that’s still up in the air, so to speak. One step at a time.

By the way, speaking of fanatics, if you’re concerned about a dog pissing on a red, white and blue fire hydrant, you might want to brush up on the US government’s Flag Code, just to ensure that you’re behaving yourself and are being appropriately respectful of our national banner. Sometimes we need a refresher course.

At the post office, be sure to ask for the first-class stamps with the pretty flowers, or something from the Elvis series. As long as it’s not one of those flag stamps, you’re good to go. You should probably also burn that stars and stripes tie you wear every 4th of July. Not to mention that if you have Old Glory hanging in front of your house 24/7, you’ll need to invest in some outdoor lighting fixtures for the necessary nighttime illumination. And finally, look away when you’re watching the next sporting event when those service people are holding that jumbo flag on the field during The National Anthem … in a horizontal position!

Final thoughts. I find it funny that The American Legion, one of the biggest proponents of the US Flag Code (which, by the way, if violated could in some instances land you in jail, from what I understand), and posting the entire, lengthy code on their website to enlighten the ignorant, is in flagrant violation of the Code on their own home page. Check it out, because the Flag Code clearly says:

“The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever.”

They’re certainly not practicing what they preach! Ads for lots of stuff, all with the red, white and blue. Funny, that.

Patriotism, good. Red, white and blue fanaticism, kind of creepy. And according to the government’s Flag Code, “the flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.” Well, that is definitely creepy. If true, I have a crumpled living thing in the bottom of my hall closet! Not waving freely, not folded properly, and definitely touching the ground. Oh, well. Don’t report me. At least it hasn’t been trodden or pissed upon.

american flag, patriotism, dog park, hondo, police dog, flag code