Current Events Watch

If you and eight of your closest friends happen to fancy gang-raping ten-year-old girls, Australia is the must-see place to visit. Queensland and surrounding territories are particularly desirable since this lovely lady, the Honourable Judge Sarah Bradley, will be your ally if by some chance others might frown upon your prepubescent dalliances. Not to worry, Judge Sarah’s got your back.

She’s works for the Childrens Court of Queensland, after all, so she’s a pro when it comes to handling such kid things. There’s probably even some wiggle room with that age issue, too, in case ten isn’t your cup o’ tea. Eight, nine, eleven, twelve … you’re probably still good to go. Book your tickets now! You might even be able to find some sort of group discount deal if you shop around.

I’m being sarcastic, of course. Because seriously, this woman is a nut job. In October of this year, she really did let nine guys off the hook after raping a ten-year-old girl back in 2005 because, as she said in her ruling, the victim “probably agreed to have sex with all of you.” That’s some horny kid!

Sure, they got obligatory slaps on their wrists. Probation for the six who were legally minors at the time of the rape, and suspended sentences for the three adults. Bottom line is, the judge’s emancipation proclamation set them free to go forth and gang-bang at will that throng of nympho schoolgirls out there just begging for it. Take a number, guys, you’ll all get your turn.

The offenders came from some of the most powerful and prominent Aboriginal families in Cape York, while the victim’s family had a lower status, according to The Australian. Of course, I’m not implying that that had anything to do with the verdict whatsoever, just passing the information along as an interesting factoid.

Judge Bradley defended her sentencing, saying that the sentences were “appropriate” because they were the penalties sought by the prosecution. Uh, I don’t even know what to say about that. It’s just wrong on so many levels.

At least Australia’s Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has spoken out against the ruling, saying he was appalled. “I am horrified by cases like this, involving sexual violence against women and children. My attitude is one of zero tolerance,” he said.

As reported by the BBC, Boni Robertson, an Aboriginal activist, and Queensland Premier Anna Bligh, have also both expressed contempt for the verdict, saying that there could be no excuse for the judge’s decision. Robertson said, “There is nothing culturally, there is nothing morally, there is nothing socially and there is definitely nothing legally that would ever allow this sort of decision to be made.”

Premier Bligh has announced a review of all sentences given over the last two years in the region. “I am not prepared to just write this off as an unusual one-off case. I want to satisfy myself that the people of Cape York, and the people who live in remote indigenous communities, are receiving the same level of justice as we can expect in any other community in Queensland,” she said.

Meanwhile, boys, enjoy your time Down Under. Wink wink.

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Let him go. He seems a little crazy, I’ll admit, but Charles Manson is innocent. It was me! That entire Tate-LaBianca fiasco? My idea. Sorry, Charlie, for the last 30-plus years of incarceration, and for the bad press. I was only six in 1969, but very devious and maniacal for my age. Even though I was 1,629 miles away (helped to avoid suspicion), I managed to pull it off. And you were a great scapegoat, being such a psycho and all. But I confess! The whole thing was my idea.

So I’m finally coming clean … water is very cleansing! Particularly effective when strapped to a board and doused with enough H2O that death by drowning seems inevitable. If they do that to me again, I swear, I’ll confess to every past transgression, and even make up some more stuff if need be. I’ll say whatever they want to hear to make them stop with the waterworks already!

While I’m at it, I’d just as well admit now to stealing that necklace at the mall to give Mom for Christmas, 1978. I don’t want to end up back on the board again, I’m still waterlogged and can hardly catch my breath. Oh, yeah, and I may have played a small part in that Black Dahlia murder thing, too, although that would have been in my previous life. I’m not sure about that one, but why not put every possibility on the table, to cover my ass. That waterboard thing, not to mention those slaps up side the head, was torture!

Well, apparently it’s not really torture. Not according to George W. Bush, responding today to the New York Times article revealing the “secret” Justice Department’s legal opinion from 2005, that authorized the use of painful methods, such as “head slaps, freezing temperatures and simulated drownings known as waterboarding, in combination”, to elicit confessions for whatever atrocities might be suspected. This just months after the December 2004 Justice Department’s opinion that publicly declared torture “abhorrent”.

President Bush defended his administration’s methods of detaining and questioning suspects on Friday, though, saying they are both successful and lawful, and that “this government does not torture people.” Either he doesn’t know what’s going on within his own administration and the agencies that be (which wouldn’t surprise me, actually), or King George is once again assuming that spewing repetitive rhetoric and propoganda will be enough to convince his ignorant subjects that all is well. Prince Cheney certainly backs him up:

Vice President Dick Cheney has confirmed that U.S. interrogators subjected captured senior al-Qaeda suspects to a controversial interrogation technique called “water-boarding,” which creates a sensation of drowning.

Cheney claims that the Bush administration doesn’t regard waterboarding as torture and allows the CIA to use it. “It’s a no-brainer for me,” Cheney said at one point in an interview.

Then there’s this gem:

Vice President Dick Cheney, being interviewed by a Fargo, North Dakota, talk radio show host, agreed with the host’s characterization of waterboarding as a “dunk in the water”

Typical Dick.

One especially cruel form of torture is waterboarding, which simulates drowning, the obvious objective being to force the person being tortured to give his torturers information to avoid death by drowning. The US has a long history of rejecting waterboarding as inhumane and degrading. Of course, that was before the Bush/Cheney regime.

-In 1901, an American soldier was court-martialed and sentenced to 10 years of hard labor for waterboarding a suspected Filipino insurgent.

-After World War II, we treated as war criminals Japanese soldiers who had waterboarded American prisoners.

-We court-martialed an American soldier who had aided in the waterboarding of a prisoner in the Vietnam War.

-The Field Manual of the U.S. Army bans waterboarding.

But that was then, and this is now. We’ve changed our minds. Now, anything goes. “Just admit to (fill-in-the-blank), dammit, and we’ll stop.”

It’s really no wonder that after his CIA waterboarding experience that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confessed to everything from masterminding a grand total of 31 terrorist attacks, the shining moment being, of course, September 11, 2001, to planning to send several former US Presidents to prematurely meet their Maker! The dead presidents plans were foiled, of course, by international anti-terrorist agencies. (Our own agencies apparently had no clue. Thank God, others around the world were keeping tabs on the welfare of our former presidents … the world loves us!) And not only did KSM mastermind 9/11, he was also behind the Richard Reid shoe bomb thing, and he personally beheaded WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl. Pretty much anything that made the news. Quite an impressive resume.

Khalid was no doubt a bad guy, and probably involved in typical day to day, routine Al-Quaeda, kill-the-Americans plotting, but I doubt very seriously if he is such a mastermind as to have orchestrated such a vast array of terrorist activity. Four years of being held captive and tortured, though … well, he probably decided to ‘fess up to just about anything and everything. Waterboarding makes you talk. He probably would have admitted to the Manson spree as well, had he been questioned about that. Thank goodness it didn’t come up! I was struggling for something horrendous to confess to, and was growing tired of the “dunks in the water.”

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Long before Betsy Ross scissor-snipped her first star, or stitched her first stripe, young America had experimented with various and sundry flags to proudly represent its new-found independence! Some of the contestants should have, without question, been voted off early in the competition.

The well-known Navy Jack, shown above, was no doubt an early elimination. DONT TREAD ON ME [sic]. An unfortunate punctuation faux pas. If they had only had spell-check back in the day, the guy may have had a chance to make it into the finals. Damn those apostrophes!

Betsy progressed in the competition, however, by wisely avoiding text, and came out on top. Stars and stripes forever! So after the drumroll, confetti, hugs, tears, and no doubt much flag-waving, they had a winner. Who knew that 231-plus years later her winning design would still be flying (albeit with a few more stars)?

A long-standing, award-winning design like that certainly deserves respect, of course, and ought not to be taken lightly. It’s a symbol, after all, of our freedom, our independence, our country, America the beautiful. Land of the free, home of the brave. Some of those idioms might be questionable, but I’ll let that go.

People still like the star-stripe theme, and the colors are pretty (adding a splash of blue was genius!). Now anything red, white and blue, based on Betsy’s winning color palette, is recognized instantly as representative of this fine nation, and often used in ceremony to convey honor to and respect for those that serve, and those who have served, this great land of ours. Ms. Ross’s most ardent fans, though, sometimes take things a bit too far!

In an Oregon dog park, a fire hydrant, painted in Old Glory fashion, was installed as a memorial to a police dog named Hondo, who was killed in a police chase of a suspect a decade ago. Hondo got caught up in the crossfire, in the line of duty. What better way to memorialize a police dog than with a fire hydrant? Dogs (at least boy dogs) and fire hydrants kind of go together, and the canines are certainly an integral part of the police force, deserving the same honor and respect as their biped partners. They, too, protect and serve. I think it’s a nice, honorable, appropriate tribute, paying homage to a servant who lost his life in the line of duty. But then again, I’m not really a flag fanatic.

Well, the memorial was removed, because critics thought other dogs would disrespectfully urinate on it! No pissing on the red, white and blue!

As quoted in the AP link above: “‘While hydrants are playfully associated with dogs as a ‘target,’ this hydrant was specifically designed and painted to serve as a very personal tribute to a service animal killed in the line of duty,’ said Hillsboro parks spokeswoman Corinne Bloomfield.”

See? It was meant to be a good thing. No disrespect intended. But, as Itchmo reports:

When some local residents saw pictures of the American flag hydrant in the dog park, they were horrified at the thought of a dog urinating on it.

One resident wrote: “That gallant dog [Hondo] must be turning in his grave at the thought of the flag being desecrated every time a dog pees on that hydrant!”

Firstly, dogs are pretty much color blind, so I doubt if Hondo really knows about the red, white and blue thing. He probably doesn’t care. In fact, who knows … maybe pissing on his memorial, in the dog world, is a sign of paying due respect? I’d bet that Cesar Millan knows. I’ll send an email. I do love that Dog Whisperer guy. In any event, I seriously doubt if Hondo is “turning over in his grave.”

I understand that the memorial hydrant has now been returned, which is only appropriate considering that it resides in a dog park named in Hondo’s honor. But they will be installing a fence to keep the pissers away. What they’re going to do to prevent a rogue, anti-American bird from taking a crap on the stars and stripes, well, I guess that’s still up in the air, so to speak. One step at a time.

By the way, speaking of fanatics, if you’re concerned about a dog pissing on a red, white and blue fire hydrant, you might want to brush up on the US government’s Flag Code, just to ensure that you’re behaving yourself and are being appropriately respectful of our national banner. Sometimes we need a refresher course.

At the post office, be sure to ask for the first-class stamps with the pretty flowers, or something from the Elvis series. As long as it’s not one of those flag stamps, you’re good to go. You should probably also burn that stars and stripes tie you wear every 4th of July. Not to mention that if you have Old Glory hanging in front of your house 24/7, you’ll need to invest in some outdoor lighting fixtures for the necessary nighttime illumination. And finally, look away when you’re watching the next sporting event when those service people are holding that jumbo flag on the field during The National Anthem … in a horizontal position!

Final thoughts. I find it funny that The American Legion, one of the biggest proponents of the US Flag Code (which, by the way, if violated could in some instances land you in jail, from what I understand), and posting the entire, lengthy code on their website to enlighten the ignorant, is in flagrant violation of the Code on their own home page. Check it out, because the Flag Code clearly says:

“The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever.”

They’re certainly not practicing what they preach! Ads for lots of stuff, all with the red, white and blue. Funny, that.

Patriotism, good. Red, white and blue fanaticism, kind of creepy. And according to the government’s Flag Code, “the flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.” Well, that is definitely creepy. If true, I have a crumpled living thing in the bottom of my hall closet! Not waving freely, not folded properly, and definitely touching the ground. Oh, well. Don’t report me. At least it hasn’t been trodden or pissed upon.

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