Current Events Watch

Keep those young Kentucky fingers crossed, boys and girls! The freaks, geeks and fuglies may wish to cross their toes as well, for good measure.

If the House Education Committee has its way, the days of being picked on, pushed around, beaten up and beaten down will soon come to an end.

The HEC unanimously approved an anti-bullying bill last week that, if given thumbs up by the Kentucky Legislature in the House and Senate, would curb the harassment, intimidation and plain old-fashioned schoolyard bullying.

It’s a fine plan, I read it. They’re calling it The Golden Rule Act.

Very straightforward, it is. It establishes a code of acceptable behavior, provides for training of teachers on how to deal, includes procedures empowering victims to report without fear of retaliation, and defines the proper comeuppance for offenders. All in all, I’d give it an A+.

There could be a bit of a bump in the road, however. A big bump, actually. A ginormous speedbump called the Republican-controlled Senate.

Similar previous versions of the bill have also been passed by the Democratically-controlled House, only to be shot down once reaching the floor of the Senate. Why, one might wonder?

Ah, here’s your answer. Idiot-at-large Senate President David Williams worries that if passed, the legislation could be used as “an excuse for the addition of curriculum concerning aberrant behavior.”

For those not fluent in Neoconese, aberrant = homosexual. FYI.

He’s concerned that if passed, the bill might be used to “teach curriculum that people aren’t interested in like homosexual, same-sex marriage sort of things like that.”

Perhaps I should re-read the bill. Maybe I missed something. Chat amongst yourselves.

Hmmm, nope. Nary reference to anything remotely suggesting the inclusion of Aberrancy 101 into the curriculum.

Of course, Williams himself said he hasn’t read the bill yet. How he has then jumped to such wacky conclusions, Lord only knows. There’s really no explaining the misfiring synapses of the Republican mind.

But one must never lose hope. Who knows? Maybe this time the planets will align, hell will freeze over, Republicans will experience a rare moment of lucidity, and all four-eyed, pizza-faced, metal-mouthed fatties down Kentucky way can breathe a collective sigh of relief. It could happen.

anti-bullying law, kentucky anti-bullying, david williams, kentucky senate, gay agenda, homosexual agenda

You learn something new every day. For instance, today I learned all about papal bulls. For the sake of the ignorant, a papal bull is a decree to all of Christendom by God’s one and only earthly ambassador and ordained talking head, the pope. Who knew?

Admittedly, there will probably be few occasions that this knowledge might come in handy. Papal chat doesn’t tend to crop up often within my social circle, but you never know. If someone does perchance ask about papal bulls, though, I’m all set.

Such edicts, with ostensibly the Most High’s stamp of approval, must not be confused, however, with papal bullshit.

The Holy See may be God’s hired hand, but from time to time one is reminded that when off the clock he’s really just a guy with a pointy hat, one foot in the grave and at least a smidgen of dementia.

Kicking off the new year, Pope Benny today, in his first public address of 2008 to the doting faithful, warned that same-sex marriage is, of all things, a threat to world peace! Thank God I’m not the marrying kind, I’d hate to have to have to bear that burden.

The spiritual leader of the scarily preponderant Catholic population called for support of traditional families defined as, of course, that oh-so-sacred union between a man and a woman, saying that any attempts to undermine said traditional family threatens the very foundations of global peace.

“I wanted to shed light on the direct relationship that exists between the family and peace in the world,” he blathered.

Whatever, crazy old dude. Consider those currently wreaking global havoc hither and thither. Nary a flamer amongst them. And George Bush? Suitably married with duly begotten offspring, yet unquestionably the current greatest threat to whirled peas. Straight as an arrow, I’m assuming. Last time I checked, Laura still had a smile on her face.

So it’s not our fault, we didn’t do it. Quit blaming us for everything. Just let us be, and go back to playing dress-up. As an aside, the hat is fabulous!

And by the way, why is it “papal” and not “popal?”

pope benedict, gay marriage, pope new year’s speech, world peace

Mike Huckabee. Until recently, a name not often recognized, a face probably even less so. Now it seems that the little engine that couldn’t is beginning to pick up some Conservative steam, and may prove to actually be capable of chugging alongside the bigger locomotives (or should I say, “loco motives” … we are talking about Republicans, after all) in the race to the summit of that Iowan Caucus hill come January.

In particular, the trainwreck of Engines 911 and LDS at last month’s Republican YouTube debate seems to have given the struggling Huckabee Express a chance to do some catching up.

It’s not like Giuliani and Romney have totally derailed, by any means. But their distracting, non-stop, childish fray at the debate certainly gave Huckabee a great opportunity to distinguish himself from the pack by actually behaving like a grown-up. One that might be worth listening to after all.

So the Republicans began to think that perhaps this little engine’s coal might be worth stoking. Yikes. Thanks, kids. See what happens when you bicker?

I’m sure a win by a Southern Baptist preacher would be a Neocon’s wet dream. For me, of course, not so much. His present-day stance on the issues pretty much tells me all I need to know, so there’s really no need to dig up dirt from days gone by. And anyway, I’m riding the blue train. Red is simply not my color. All aboard!

Still, it is interesting to note that back in 1992, when running for the Senate (unsuccessfully, as it turned out), Huckabee suggested isolating people with AIDS from the general public, opposed boosting federal funding in the search for a cure and said that he felt “homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.”

Even though by 1992, anyone with half a brain (maybe that was the problem) knew that HIV and AIDS were not communicable to the public at large, Mikey said, “If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague.”

In addition to the quarantine, he also thought it might be a fine idea, in light of the extraordinary amount already being spent on AIDS research by federal health agencies, to perhaps staunch that by asking Hollywood celebs to foot the bill for any additional funding. They do have deep pockets, after all, and he apparently felt that federal tax dollars would be better spent on other diseases. Those ones that might befall breeders as well as queers.

I’m pretty confident that by 1992 most of us were also well-aware that the disease wasn’t just a gay plague. But, then again, we’re talking about Mike Huckabee which brings us back to that “half a brain” thing, so go figure.

Of course now, under a presidential-candidate type of scrutiny, he touts that his administration will be “the first to have an overarching strategy for dealing with HIV and AIDS here in the United States, with a partnership between the public and private sectors that will provide necessary financing and a realistic path toward our goals.”

That’s pretty ambiguous. As far as I know, “necessary financing” means he has a plan for how best to cover the costs of quarantining and isolating the afflicted, because Lord knows that can’t be cheap!

Okay, I’ll admit that that may be cynically presumptious of me. A bit extreme, perhaps. Or a lot. Whatever. Just making a point that I find such rhetoric hard to swallow given his past history.

Still, Huckabee has yet to tackle that first hill in Iowa next month anyway, so even if he does make it to the top with an “I think I can” attitude (that boost of confidence in large part courtesy of Rudy and Mitt, in my opinion), there’s still a lot of rail left to ride.

I really don’t care which of the little red engines peaks first, frankly. It’s not all downhill after that, as there are still many more mountains to climb. I just hope in the final stretch, when the last Hill to conquer is of the Capitol variety and we’re left with only two final contenders to chug it out - one red and one blue, that the red one runs out of steam and gets its Conservative caboose kicked. Particularly if, by chance, that little engine indeed happens to be the Huckabee Express.

mike huckabee, iowa caucuses, rudy giuliani, mitt romney, election 2008, gay rights, aids/hiv, presidential election, iowa voters

Last August the bosses, aka the Board of Trustees, at Florida’s Palm Beach Community College came to the conclusion that it was simply not appropriate to extend health care benefits to the domestic partners of its homo worker bees.

Despite the fact that it wouldn’t have cost the school one additional thin dime, and that many of the nation’s largest corporations, including other universities and colleges, offer health insurance for their employees’ same-sex better halves, it apparently just seemed wrong somehow, I guess. Proposal rejected. Coverage denied. Judgement against the defendants, case closed. Next!

Fast forward to the present. What a difference a few weeks makes! Now those same folks seem to finally be coming to their senses. No, that boy-worker’s life partner still won’t be granted co-pay-only status at the doc’s office. He’s still full price because he’s a he. Get real. But, to give the bigwigs credit for at least taking a step in the right direction, they have determined that anyone who works for the college … anyone, even the queers … will have the option to enroll their pets in the college’s healthcare plan!

Via payroll deduction the cost will hardly be noticeable, and you can rest assured that your loyal companion’s health care needs will be covered, come what may. As long as the dependant is of the four-legged variety, of course. You’re bipedal significant other, no matter how loyal, if genitally similar to yourself will still have to fend for him or her self, I suppose. SOL there.

But your dogs, cats, even hedgehogs, frogs, guinea pigs, geckos, iguanas and sugar gliders (they are cute, I have to admit) are eligible for coverage, and will be well taken care of if in need of medical attention. Well, that’s certainly a weight lifted from the shoulders, no doubt. Too bad about that boyfriend or girlfriend, though. Maybe if they spent more time on all fours? Okay, we won’t go there.

Deidre Newton, a PBCC alumnus who is now VP of the Palm Beach County Human Rights Council called the decision an outrage. “While many pet owners consider their dogs and cats part of their families, there is a basic disconnect when an employer will insure an employee’s pet but not an employee’s partner.”

And Deidre’s boss, council president Rand Hoch, concurs. “The only distinction I can see is one covers human beings in committed relationships, and the other covers animals in committed relationships.”

I adore my dog. He is loyal, loving and certainly benefits-worthy. If I happened to be on the PBCC payroll, I’d probably say “sign me up!” On the other hand, I also adore my (imaginary) boyfriend and life-partner (fantasy name) Drake. He, too, is loyal, loving and you would think would also be benefits-worthy. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. He wouldn’t qualify for coverage, even though he does hump my leg from time to time (God, I have a vivid imagination!) I like being single, but it’s fun to pretend every now and then. And Drake never gets sick, so it’s probably a moot point anyway.

domestic partners, same sex partners, domestic partner benefits, gay rights, health care benefits

Remember Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s recent homily and Q&A campus-session at Columbia University? Mahmoud delivered quite the performance for students and faculty. Crazy people can be entertaining. If nothing else, his much-publicized dissertation almost makes fellow world leader George Bush appear to be somewhat sane, rational and levelheaded. Almost. Okay, nah, that might be too much of a stretch. Never mind.

Crazy, yes, but Mahmoud also showed that he has a knack for comedy as well. From time to time, his inner stand-up comic could not be suppressed and would blurt a zany one-liner, much to the delight of the audience. There were several similarly noteable comedic moments, but this classic gem is the one that certainly garnered the most media attention. From the transcript:

PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. (Laughter.) We don’t have that in our country. (Booing.) In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have it. (Laughter.)

The crowd laughed, heckled, and then laughed some more. If this presidential gig doesn’t work out as planned, there will always be open mike night at the Laugh Factory. One should always have something to fall back on.

But seriously, folks …

Of course the remark was laughable because of its absolute absurdity. Right? Sorry, Mahmoud, you might want to rethink some of your material. Sometimes the audience is laughing at you, not with you. On second thought, could it possibly be true that there really is no gaiety in Iran? Well, after further investigation, it turns out he was right! He wasn’t just being a wisecracker, pulling the audience’s collective leg, after all. Nope, there really are no homosexuals in Iran. At least none amongst the living. And if a rogue flamer does perchance pop up from time to time, that offender is dealt with in short order and punished. Capitally.

Yep, Iran is indeed a gay-free zone. No joke.

During a peace conference in May between the Iranian and British parliamentaries, Mohsen Yahyavi, a high ranking Iranian politician, for the first time acknowledged that Iran’s sentence for homosexuality is the death penalty. Public hanging is apparently the method of choice.

In the meeting, Yahyavi, when questioned about the reports, responded that “gays deserve to be executed or tortured and possibly both” because, of course, Islam forbids homosexuality. So there you have it. Hang ‘em high, and Allah bless Iran! Kind of makes the radical Christian competition on this side of the pond (e.g., Fred Phelps and his band of “God Hates Fags” loonies) seem like a bunch of wusses, huh?

Well, I’ll certainly be cancelling my reservation at the Tehran Hilton, that’s for sure! Allah forbid I might get caught ogling some Middle Eastern hottie passerby. Next stop, the gallows. Not quite what I had on the agenda. And that Mahmoud stand-up routine I was hoping to catch while in town probably wouldn’t have been so funny after all, all things considered.

By the way, these two teenagers were convicted of homosexuality by Iranian authorities and subsequently, well, dealt with accordingly. I find this image very, very disturbing.

iran, ahmadinejad, homosexuality, yahyavi, gay execution

I’m torn. I’m on the fence and don’t know on which side to fall. Or to at least lean. Being a gay guy, and having personally been on the pointy end of the queer-fear stick in the workplace, I should probably support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, ENDA, whole-heartedly. I would definitely have been a gung-ho supporter of the most recently proposed bill prohibiting discrimination in the workplace based on sexual orientation and gender identity as originally submitted by Barney Frank, one of two Congressional (at least openly) fellow homos. But it’s the watered-down version that ultimately appears to be, at least for now, destined for the vote that I’m waffling about.

The original bill, introduced in April, and scheduled for an October 2nd vote, was postponed, after apparently several members of Congress successfully contended that by removing reference in the bill regarding the transgendered, it would be more likely pass. Just stick with the gay thing, for now. Barney seems to have buckled to that, and it may not be such a bad compromise. When you consider that in most states an employee can still be fired, denied promotion, or simply not hired if he or she is of the queer persuasion (or perceived as such), any advance in protecting our rights would seem to be a step in the right direction.

I agree.

Removing the transgender and gender identity portion of the bill, though, as Franks agreed to do with Congressional prodding, has raised the ire of most LGBT organizations, saying that exclusion of the transgendered in the final bill is unfair, as all people deserve full protection under the law against employment discrimination. No one should be prevented from making a living based on who they are.

I agree again. Hence my quandry.

As reported on 365gay.com, the collective statement from these groups:

“Our organizations oppose the removal of protections for transgender people from ENDA. We would also oppose any employment nondiscrimination bill that did not protect transgender people,” the joint statement said.

While we don’t doubt the sincerity of congressional leadership’s intent to take action and be helpful to the LGBT community, we cannot disagree more with this strategy. We will continue to work with LGBT-supportive members of Congress to urge their colleagues to immediately drop this strategy.”

The Human Rights Campaign, one of the LGBT community’s most staunch supporters, is the odd man out this time around, though. They’re decidedly on the other side of the fence from their gay rights compatriots. They obviously are contending that, as is part of my fence-straddling dilemma, that any step forward is at least a step in the right direction.

Despite Barney Frank’s compromise and support of the diluted bill, saying that the “votes are just not there” to support the bill in its original transgendered form, he is planning to propose a separate bill for transgendered rights. Okay. That might work, and even if we have to take it one step at a time, it might be worth it. And the HRC, although in support of the trans-exclusive version if that’s the best we can get, is still rallying for support to include the trannies when it comes up for a vote.

On the other hand, the exclusion of the transgendered in the proposed bill certainly doesn’t seem quite right, either. Should it be all or nothing, or should we take what we can get for now? Should we be happy with baby steps, or push for giant strides?

I’ll obviously support whichever version finally makes it to the floor, even though the issue has for now hit a temporary dead end. I just don’t know if it will be quite sufficient. Every little bit helps, though, I guess. It really probably doesn’t matter, since George Bush will no doubt veto whatever version may be passed, anyway.

By the way, about having been on the pointy end of the queer-fear stick at work that I mentioned at the beginning of this article? My stick-jabbing boss at the time has since left his wife and kids after many years, and is now happily living in DC with his boyfriend. Go figure.

gay rights, ENDA, Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Human Rights Campaign, HRC, homosexuality, Barney Frank, George Bush

I’ll start by admitting that I am a Christian, and that I may be a little bit crazy. Or a lot, depending upon whom you ask. But I’m not cross-burning, anti-gay Ku Klux Klan crazy, pie-in-the-face Anita Bryant crazy (now that was funny! If you don’t click on any other link, that’s the one that is truly click-worthy.), Krybaby-Killer-King-sanctity of marriage George W. Bush crazy, or in-the-closet Pat Robertson and died-in-the-closet Jerry Falwell crazy. (”The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” - Shakespear’s Hamlet. Past tense version for Jerry, of course. RIP. Pat’s still around, though. You go, girl!) Of course, there are others, but space is limited.

All of these pious folks are (or, in some cases, were) diligently doing God’s work, in a Fred Phelp’s sort of way. We gay people are responsible for all worldly woes, apparently! Alongside the blacks and Jews, and assorted others. But when Pat and Jerry had their conversation after 9/11, and I realized that I had been, in part, responsible … well, I felt really bad! I sometimes still clothe myself in sackcloth and ashes as penance for that one.

Thank God (sorry, what I meant to say was “thank goodness”, I forgot for a moment that I’m not God-worthy), that I’m not a gay, black, Jewish feminist who may have at some point had an abortion in Iraq! There wouldn’t be enough sackcloth to redeem myself! I would probably be good to go with the ashes, though. I do smoke a lot.

By the way, while I’m thinking about it, let me apologize on behalf of all of us degenerates for Katrina, too. I’ll do more penance, I promise.

I’m sure that Dubya would be appalled at being categorized with the Klan. As would Florida sunshine orange juice queen Anita. The two Bible guys might not have such a problem with it. Whatever. They’re all KKK.

The point is, everyone picks and chooses, whether it’s at the grocery store (store brand, name brand?) or when one grabs their Bible and picks this verse, that verse, to prove that they really are “holier than thou.” And it’s quite clear that gay is wrong! Okay, so I’m an abomination. Just take a look at Leviticus 18:22. That’s certainly “straight” to the point! Well, forgive me, God, but You have to admit, that guy I brought home really was cute.

And while You’re at it, forgive me for ordering the shrimp and lobster special last weekend, and for not killing my neighbor Mark, who was called into work last Sunday at the last minute. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, seemed a bit harsh.

Of course, I, myself, didn’t work on Sunday, no way! Perhaps that might score me some spiritual points.

Speaking of scoring points, I spent my day of rest, instead, watching Chiefs’ football (finally a win!). Then again, the whole team is probably now on God’s bad side, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season. Playing with that unclean pigskin. Particularly on the Sabbath! So on second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have watched the game after all, should have taken no part in that transgression. I also now regret wearing my “Go Chiefs” cotton-poly-blend sweatshirt. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Holy crap! I’m doomed, for so many reasons! Even so, dear brothers and sisters in Christ, please just stop condemning me for being gay. Particularly over dinner at the Red Lobster. The shrimp was good, though, wouldn’t you agree? Loved that sweater, too. I’m assuming it was 100% cotton? Okay, enough ranting, and sorry for the excessive number of links, but Bible study is important. Just trying to educate about God’s laws. Wouldn’t want someone else stoned to death for a bad menu or wardrobe choice. I’m already a lost cause.

Anyway, this is the trailer from a Kool new movie that I Kan’t wait to see when it finally makes its way here to Kansas City. Because, you know what? I really do know that Jesus loves me, despite what those other Krazy Kooky Khristians say. How do I know? For The Bible Tells Me So. In spite of all of that other stuff, of course. Yep, that was the last of too many links, praise the Lord.

religious right, fundamentalism, christianity, radicalism, homosexuality, gay rights, bible, george bush, kkk, anita bryant, pat robertson, jerry falwell, religion

I love Cathy Aubrecht, even though we’ve never met, and probably never will. Never say never, I know, but I think it’s safe to say that our paths won’t be crossing any time soon. She’s an English teacher at Hononegah High School in Rockton, IL, and I’m sitting here on my ass in Kansas City, MO. Not very likely that fate will bring us together. It’s probably better that way, I’m sure there would be something about her that would really get on my nerves, maybe even my last good one. I’m easily annoyed. So I’m happy to love her from afar, and would prefer to keep it that way. Why do I love her?

She gets it. She understands why it’s important to provide gay kids the right to meet in a “safe zone” on campus where LGBT students can discuss the issues they face with other students, both gay and straight, about gay and lesbian issues. She’s the one who proposed that the students be allowed to form a Gay-Straight Alliance at Hononegah High School. The Board of Education gave it a “thumbs up” despite the risk of a lawsuit.

Of course, there was opposition, and some moms and dads didn’t like the idea. Still, the students stood up. From 365gay.com:

“The students are aware of their legal rights, and are willing to stand up for those rights,” student Brian Carrell warned the board at a public meeting before the vote.

Go Brian!

So this is why I love Cathy, even if it is a long distance love affair. I know what it’s like to be a gay teenager, with no one to talk to, no support group. I remember. But by successfully promoting the GSA there at Hononegah High School, she very well may be saving lives, as well. LGBT youth suicide is off the charts. Of course, adolescent suicide, for any reason, is tragic. But I can assure you, many of those gay kids offing themselves do so because they feel ashamed, alone, that something must be wrong with them and that they have no one to turn to. By simply being able to freely meet with others like themselves and discuss what’s going on in their heads, to talk openly about their feelings with their peers, and to know that they’re not alone, well, that’s enough to make one at least reconsider swallowing that bottle of pills, or doing something more drastic that might leave a mess.

That’s a good thing, and the GSA is a good thing. And as for the S folks in the GSA? Well, hopefully, some of them will show up from time to time, too. It’s an alliance, after all, and understanding and respecting diversity is a step towards a more tolerant future. We Gs really aren’t all that different. Well, except for the sex thing. Other than that, though, not so much. Thanks, Cathy, and all my love to you and others like you! XOXOXOXO

gay straight alliance, gay, homosexuality, gay rights, gay youth, gay suicide

I’d bet money that even with all of the free time Larry Craig will soon have, it probably won’t be spent on the beaches of Ft. Lauderdale for a little rest and relaxation! Or whatever else he might have been inclined to add to his agenda.

Here’s why. The mayor, Jim Naugle, is on a mission to have Robo-Johns installed on the beaches, because there is just too much gay sex in the public restrooms! How he knows, I’ll leave that for you to ponder. Particularly when even the police department says that this isn’t really a problem. Last year they made one arrest in the city’s south beach restroom.

These robotic toilets are quite fancy! As they should be, I suppose, costing a quarter of a million dollars. Once you close that stall door, the clock starts … NOW! And when time is up, the door will magically, automatically fly open!! Timing is such that it apparently doesn’t allow enough time for two dudes to complete a sexual act. That’s the point. Problem solved. That gay sex on the beach problem. Once again, how he knows how long it takes for a couple of guys to “finish up” might be a question worth asking.

Just as an aside, if I was straight, no other penis within reach, and I just happened to have ordered that taco and burrito special from the concession stand earlier in the day … could I please add some time to the clock?

People do have sex in public places, everywhere, always have, always will. Inappropriate, yeah. I’ve done it, though, as have most people at one time or another. Admit it. Why the gay thing always becomes the problem topic, I don’t know. Find a guy and a girl boinking, anywhere, and the cops will say “move along.” Cops find two guys together, though, and it’s handcuffs and the back seat of a cop car. Find two girls together and, well, the cops will probably just watch. Assuming the cops are male. And straight, of course. Straight guys are weird that way, I don’t get it. Ewww.

That’s the way it goes, though. It does seem to me that this Naugle fellow protesteth too much, in a Craigish sort of way.

I think he’s probably just been turned down too many times, and doesn’t want anyone else to have boy fun if he can’t get any. “Robo-Johns will teach them a lesson! If I can’t get any, neither will they!” They being now, of course, not so much “gay.” He’s so over that gay thing, it’s such a misnomer. From GLAAD:

When Ft. Lauderdale mayor Jim Naugle first remarked that the city needed robotic toilets to prevent gay men from having sex in public restrooms over a month ago, it began a firestorm of protest from advocacy groups and garnered national media attention. Days later, he further revealed his prejudice by stating that he would use the word “homosexual” since he feels that “gay” is a misnomer since gay people are “unhappy.”

Speak for yourself, Jimmy. I’m happy. Gay, one might even say. Being in the closet, though, is indeed an unhappy place to be, isn’t it? Maybe after the Robo-Johns are in place, you might consider getting yourself a Robo-Closet. Because that door apparently needs to be opened robotically as well. “Time’s up.” Caught ya.

jim naugle, robo-johns, public sex, discrimination, homophobia