Current Events Watch

“Break a leg,” the standard maxim typically said to actors before they go on stage to perform. I don’t know where that came from, and apparently nobody knows for sure, or how it became the phrase of choice for wishing the performer the best of luck. Why not “Drop Dead”?

Whatever the source, it ought not be spoken to the tibially-challenged. FEMA’s Deputy Administrator Harvey Johnson comes to mind. Sometimes even with a well-scripted, flawless, perfectly executed performance, the leg does metaphorically break. Ouch. That’ll leave a mark.

FEMA. We know them well, of course, for the heckuva job they did post-Katrina. When the less-than-favorable reviews began to come in, though, it soon became obvious that the cast might need a new director. Bye bye, Brownie. Did anyone really expect someone with no disaster management experience to be able to pull that off? I mean, come on, it was a pretty powerful scene, after all, and probably a bit more than he should have been asked to handle. Improv didn’t work so well, so … lesson learned. No more improvisation. A good script is what will make things okey-dokey for the next big scene.

So … lights, camera, ACTION! Emergency … the fires are raging, California is ablaze! Enter FEMA, hoping for a better performance this time around. And what better way for the government to represent than to put the E team front and center, answering the hard-hitting questions, keeping the media up to date, assuring everyone that things are going much better this time around. Leading role played by Harvey Johnson.

Quite a performance it was, and he certainly managed to stay in character during the staged press conference broadcast live on the major news networks last Tuesday. Even the supporting actors did a fine job in their respective roles as inquisitive journalists.

They were all FEMA employees, by the way. Just another day at the office. “I’m not a journalist, but I play one on TV.” Not a single reporter or journalist was in the house. The questions were scripted, the answers were scripted, the requisite camera flashes were scripted, and even that final, always necessary “last question” line that the podium holder cites to indicate that the press conference is over. Or in this case, I guess, end of scene. Cut!

Legit reporters were allowed to listen in, conference-call style, but were not allowed to ask questions. Well, in fact, that perhaps was for the best. As I said, we learned that improv didn’t work so well for FEMA two years ago, so it was probably a wise decision to simply stick to the script.

Once the backstory was reported (by real reporters, of course), despite a fine “break a leg” performance by Mr. Johnson, the reviews were less than laudatory. Leg broken, but not as intended.

At least FEMA is a versatile acronym. Federal Emergency Management Agency? Maybe. But also adaptable to Fraudulent, Ersatz, Mendacious, Amiss. Gotta love our government agencies.

If you missed the breaking news press conference this past week, here’s the performance. Despite the thumbs-down reviews, it was actually quite convincing, in a Milli Vanilli sort of way.

FEMA, california wildfires, FEMA press conference, natural disaster, government assistance